It was bad, evil, nasty… soggy! For some reason, which I don't understand even now, I did not say a word. No opposition. No complaint. No… whatever! I paid for the pretzel, and walked away.

The only thing worst than the soggy grease "thing" was the "Hotdog Pretzel" that I bought along with it. We thought would be a nice novelty item. Hey! We were hungry and in a hurry.

After I had a bite of both, I looked at my daughter and said, "Never again!" She simply added, "It's gross!" The buttery-ooze ATE through the bag before we even got to the car. So much for "saving some for the ride home." I vowed to forsake pretzels.

A few months later we were in Lake George, the annual pilgrimmage of the first week of Summer Vacation. We stopped by the mall there and I couldn't resist the "Auntie Whatever Pretzel Storefront." I still had that buttery-ooze image burnt in my minds-eye… BUT, I couldn't resist. Okay, maybe I'm kind-of an addict. However, I asked them to bake a fresh batch of pretzels just for me. I felt like a junkie asking my dealer for a clean syringe. An AA member planning a "slip."

"No toppings, but a little salt…" I added.

Fresh from the oven and warm to the touch, my love affair was renewed. Pure pretzel. It's akin to memories of a first love. No! It's better!

Needless to say, I am particular about pretzels. And, for any novices out there - we're not talking typical bagged grocery store pretzels, or even frozen ones in the freezer case (which are okay if there's no other fix around). I'm taking vendor pretzel. New York. Philadelphia.

Two years ago, I spent night after night looking for someplace, ANYPLACE! that would ship real pretzels to the house. It was a lesson in futility at first. An education at best.

Life being what it is, I eventually did find the folks that would do it - a connection! They weren't NY-style, but Philli-style, but that's not even a compromise. Gold is gold. Whenever I want to treat myself REAL good I place an order. The pretzels themselves are cheap! About fifty-sents a pop. The shipping is a killer. But they will send you discount codes once your "a regular." Your still getting 'em for less than street price, so what's to complain about? And, they come right to your door. When you get a chance, check them out. A Little Bit of Philly. The best deal is the "Fun Party Pack."

Anyway.. my basic recipe is below. With autumn just around the corner, these are a great afternoon or evening treat. Hell, they're a treat year-round!

09.09.05 Life, my friends, is unpredictable. It can be filled with joy one moment, and the next… it's filled with tragedy and devastation. Sometimes the best we can do as mere mortals is survive - make it through the day and start fresh in the morning. The rest is, so often, in the hands of the god(s) or goddess(es) - as your personal oriention may dictate.

I, for one, have always been a firm believer in "basics." Call it utopian, or idealistic. I've been called far worse during my time trapped on this planet. Whether it's at the workplace, or with the family. Traveling. Or, home on a sick bed. I try my best to avoid popular media/opinion, trendy thought, fad and extremes. It is a personal choice. More times than not, there is enough for me to handle in any day just doing that - forget about gas prices, Iraq… and opinions on Dubya.

Anyway. This past week I received a letter, YES, a real US Postal-type stamp on the envelope letter (as opposed to an e-mail or spam) from Valerie Richardson over at WPKN. Seems she is completing "the cookbook" and my recipe for pretzels is gonna be in it!

To be honest, I had pretty much "assumed" that the recipe was not going to be included. To spare myself the grief and agony, I decided to consider it a forgotten notion. I like it when I'm wrong. My guess is that the cookbook ("wpkn COOKS") will be ready for the Holiday Season this year.

Valerie's letter included the option of "making any changes or corrections before the book goes to the publisher." At first I said, "Nah, it's fine." I put the letter down.

A day or two later, I picked the letter and the copy of the recipe up. I thought about it. Ended up in the kitchen making a batch of pretzels. "Better safe than sorry." And, it has been awhile since the last batch.

Pretzels have been a passion of mine. Since my first memories of grabbing one from a vendor in Times Square as a kid - to flipping out at the size of the pretzels in Belgium Epcot at Disney. There's something so very easy, calm, rewarding, satisfying.... need I go on? Pretzels are a food to be shared. They are, for me, the ultimate survival food. Believe me, I'm not a crazed addict. On the other hand, I do know what I like.

I (once - very recently) actually gave up pretzels. It was after visiting Danbury Square Mall this past Spring (2005). I watched the girl behind the counter DUMP my pretzel in some kind of buttery-ooze. "To warm it up," she said.

IN-HOUSE PRETZEL RECIPE
as it will appear in wpknCooks

1 package yeast
1 1/2 cups warm water
1 tsp salt
1/2 Tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp brown sugar
4 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
Coarse (kosher) salt

Add salt, sugar, and brown flour to the flour. Mix.

Add 1 cup warm water and the 1/2 cup of water with the dissolved yeast to flour. Knead the dough until smooth and elastic, at least 2 minutes. Form into a ball and let stand in a very lightly buttered large bowl. Cover bowl with a small kitchen towel. Allow dough to rise for around 45 minutes to an hour.

Preheat over to 475°-500°F.

Stir baking soda into a large pot of boiling water.

Cut the dough into small pieces (usually 8 to 10) and roll the pieces into ropes. Twist the ropes into traditional pretzel shapes. Place the pretzels into the hot water and let them float for around a minute, turning them over halfway through that time. Make sure they don't stick to the bottom of the pot when you first put them in.

Remove the pretzels and place them on a lightly greased cookie sheet.

Sprinkle the pretzels with coarse (kosher) salt. Bake immediately in 475° oven for 12 to 15 minutes, or until browned.

Eat them fresh. They do not keep long.

The pretzels can be microwaved to warm them up again later - 30 seconds on high.

For as much as life is unpredictable, it is also filled with choices and alternatives. Okay, you have a breadmaker and want to use it. [I use mine all the time just for making dough]. Add all the ingredients, listed above, into your breadmaker - the yeast, water, salt (not the coarse salt), sugar, brown sugar and flour. Set the breadmaker to simply make dough. On mine it's a "9" setting, but I'm sure that varies from machine to machine. Well... I'm not really sure that it does. Anyway, the full cycle takes about 1-1/2 hours. When it's done you have a wonderful dough.

Take the dough out of the breadmaker, knead it for a few minutes and place it into lightly buttered bowl and cover it with a towel for about a half hour. Come back and it's risen. Knead the dough down again, and cut it into 8-10 chunks as above. Roll each chunk into a rope and twist it into the pretzel shape. I place these on a lightly greased cookie sheet and let them rise (again!) for another fifteen minutes before placing them in the boiling water. The second rise really adds to the pretzel. I've also added olive oil to the water instead of the baking soda from time to time.

Another option - to get that "slight sweetness" to the pretzel... just before your ready to pull them out of the oven, brush on just a VERY little melted butter, and let them cook another 3 minutes. The result - SUPERB!